I'm never there- doesn't seem to bother anyone. I'd like to be there, but I'm afraid some soggy dark headed girl with chronic bad breath has spread unsavory rumors about me amongst this group of affluent kids. I don't have the privilege of barging in with unbiased attitudes surrounding me, I'm stricken with false rumors spilled out of her swampy slut mouth. And do I enjoy inhabiting a place where I am doomed to be an eccentric outside observer, or perhaps some sort of odd sideshow spectacle?- well, I haven't stumbled upon a social situation that has allowed me to escape these roles yet. Everyone's interactions are so cheesy, and I'm such a self-centered asshole/ bitter prick for feeling such things- I will admit that this originates from a horrible sense of social isolation. I never feel like I'm a customary part of any circle of people, besides WTT, of course- those guys are different somehow. The fact that one of my best friends is constantly calling someone else his best friend publicly or privately, being a man of grand heart and emotion, doesn't comfort me in these alienating  thoughts- Sometimes I feel like I found that great companionship the cheap way. No, I failed to realize in typing that statement that there have been many times in which I've confirmed a trait that we both share, a willingness to be completely open and raw with eachother, revealing even the deppest and most humiliating secrets shamelessly, that most seem either incapable of or unwilling to do.

 I should just find some sort of solace away from people, great dissapointers of the Earth, because I'll probably never be the smooth socialite that I've always wished to be- and even in times of great success there, bouts of reclusiveness always arise and demolish the fragile friendships that I may possess with those outside of my closest group of friends, who seem to actually understand my habits- or perhaps they don't, judging a handful of reactions made on their part to this side of my character. I also lack the will for social upkeep, and thus prefer the close friendships of only a few. Others only hold a place of superficial friendliness, something weak and bound to crumble. There have been some that I have either strayed from or neglected, those who may have been something great and important to me, but I have terrible tendencies to give up on what seems lost when it comes to people.

 Despite the fact that I've never been able to go when the bro nights come along, I'm still left with a bitter attitude about it. I wake up all sober early Saturday mornings and I look at lonely pages on Social Networking sites, thinking only of what the kids I see on my screen may have indulged in last night. I was going to sleep at 8 o' clock early because of an eerie sad sensation that I just couldn't shake. I didn't even read, I didn't even just sit around and think- I layed myself out and dreamt uncomfortably until 6 this morning.

 Those dreams cause me to feel so distant from reality, waking up is like being born into the world.

 His unfailing stupidity and that one's secret love for shitty music annoys me. In fact, I hate all of my closest friends the most.

Makes the friendship more complex, and thus- significant. I really do appreciate those that I can hate and enjoy with the same intensity, I've always found that the most paradoxical of things in life are the most interesting.